Now playing Season 1, Episode 4 — Phonettiquette
July 11, 1994
1
13
8.0
Steven Banks
N/A
Season 1 • 13 episodes
Steven attends a Rock and Roll auction, planning to bet on what he believes is a guitar that belonged to John Lennon. Actually, it's Julian Lennon's guitar case. Along the way, Steven acts out the history of the Beatles with plastic figurines, and Peter Tork shows up with a bag of chocolate Kisses.
Gina Schock comes to clean Steven's apartment after he does a routine in which he imitates Bob Dylan, as well as Johnny Cash and Mr. Ed.
Steven isn't going anywhere in his relationship with Mariana, who's tired of having to repair everything in his apartment, so after an impromptu autoharp session he tries out Vic's video dating service. As expected, he gets interrupted and plays around with some stilts. He does get one response, however, and it's from Mariana. As she comes over she tells Steven that her apartment and others were robbed> Turns out it was Vic, who set up the dating service in order to case other's apartments. As Steven serenades Mariana accompanying himself on bongos and offering her what she wanted in her video, she watches his and notices it was he who knocked over his lamp with his stilts routine. By the end, Steven is fixing his lamp and Vic operates his dating service behind bars.
Steven is invited to appear on a chat show for saving a little girl named Chelsea Clinton. Also on the show are Penn and Teller, who perform a bloody trick involving beans. The guests each receive a tote bag from the show. When Steven gets home he finds that he accidentally has Penn's cell phone. He sets out to return it, but Pepper comes across it and turns down an offer from Aaron Spelling in Penn's voice. He then informs Steven of his new psychic girlfriend, who supposedly can contact dead rock stars. This inspires Steven to put on a robe a la the Grim Reaper and perform ""Rock and Roll RIP."" When Penn and Teller arrive, the seance begins. The psychic demands a valuable object--one of Steven's rare 45 LPs--and pulls out a record from ""Buddy Holly"" to which Steven Plays along. But Penn proves her a fake, returns Steven's record, and to celebrate, Steven and Penn perform ""Clothes of the Dead.""
As usual, Steven reflects on his teenage years. But this time he is visited by many of his high school relationships. Its quite a reunion!
As Steven and Pepper clean out the former's closet (Steven's parents don't mind a messy room as long as the closet's clean) they recall events that never actually happened on the series.
Told as a flashback, Steven was just doing what he normally does-in this case it's acting out a musical based on ""The Grapes of Wrath"" with grapes and a toy car. He has to find some of his missing recepits for his tax return, but complications ensue when the eccentric new neighbors keep asking to borrow things from Steven, including a Bowie knife and rat poison. Steven thinks someone is going to be killed so he asks Chuck to investigate. A police officer stops by to assure Steven that no murder has taken place, and noticing Steven's musical instruments, begins to sing opera with Steven accompanying her. But Steven is still uncertain. In the end, it proves to be a complete misunderstanding on Steven's part. To fill time at the end of the episode, Steven stares out at the audience until Mr, Pfeiffer yells, ""Banks, stop staring at the audience!""
Pepper abandons Steven at an expensive restaurant resulting in an expensive tab and an annoying companion, Fran. But when its revealed that Fran's uncle is one of Steven's childhood idols, Steven allows the relationship to continue so he can enjoy a personal audience!
The episode is narrated by Stuffy the dog, who recounts how it all started with a man named Steven...""Banks, Banks, Banks"" and so Steven's fantasizing begins. Lupe delivers him a package from his parents at a home security convention--a dead stuffed decoy dog named Stuffy. But when Mr. Pfeiffer sees the stuffed dog he reports this to Mariana, who gets frightened. Steven tries to get rid of Stuffy by putting him in the on-deck trash downstairs. He attends the Mexican restaurant where Mariana is exhibiting her paintings and has a great time, serenading her in his apartment, until a cop comes over and returns Stuffy to Steven, writing him up. When Lupe arrives she recognizes Stuffy because she had a similar decoy dog until it got stolen, and so Steven gives Stuffy to Lupe. In the end, Stuffy decides that he enjoys being with Lupe after all.
As Steven wakes up he begins to play the piano in another one of his fantasies, only to have Pims call him and demand a report which is due at nine. Steven comes to work to find that a female co-worker who is obsessed with him has finished the report for him. In returns she demands that he bring her to the medieval fair, which he isn't too thrilled about attending. Back home he receives two packages--one full of styrofoam pellets from his parents and an unmarked package - a funeral urn. Only Steven has already vacuumed up some of the ashes and he and Pepper try to dispose of the rest, by methods such as smoking the ashes. During their conversation Pepper brings up the rumor of Walt Disney being cryogenically frozen, which doesn't convince Steven but does inspire him to perform ""Walt's Song."" Mariana comes by and Steven asks her if there are any relatives she hasn't spoken to in a long time.
An episode somewhat abridged from his special, Steven Banks: Home Entertainment Center, we see the beginning of Steven's relationship with the new building maintenance crew, Mrs. Stevens - Mariana. All bookended by procrastination on his overdue work project for Mr. Buttle.
Steven is watching public television as he serves himself some cold cereal (while imitating Julia Child). It is revealed that he is infatuated with children's TV star Miss Janie Hathaway When Miss Janie announces a drawing contest where the winner gets to have breakfast with her, Steven and Pepper enter, claiming Steven is the uncle of a boy whose mother recently died. They win, and Steven gets prepared for a romantic meal. However, when Miss Janie arrives, she proves not to be as sweet as she seems, and she suspects Steven just brought her over to further an acting career. She has him help her an audition for a soap opera, which calls for her to kiss him passionately. She also invites him to her one-woman show, "I, Karen: The Beat Did Not Go On", an avant-garde musical about Karen Carpenter playing at the Justine Bateman playhouse. Steven attends the show, which he finds so boring that he drifts to sleep and dreams himself starring in a one-man show about Mark Twain.
After fixing Steven's bed, Mariana goes to a psychiatrist's office (being one of his first patients) to discuss her fascination with Steven. She recounts her dream about him, which incorporates parodies of ""Peter Pan,"" The Jerry Lewis telethon, ""Cabaret,"" ""My Fair Lady,"" ""West Side Story,"" ""The Music Man,"" and ""The Dating Game,"" which somehow manage to feature Queen Victoria. When Mariana comes back to announce that she is getting a new job and will leave the apartment he realizes that he may be in love with her. Steven then comes to the psychiatrist's office to discuss his Woody Allen-esque dream, which centers around a tour of his own apartment in which an obsessed ""Lost in Space"" fan describes how Billy Mumy's life went downhill until Bill Mumy sets hoim straight. By the end of the episode, Steven and Mariana realize their feelings for each other. They kiss, and the show ends on a poignant moment.
Easting Down Productions
N/A
Spun off from his one man show, Steven bank: Home Entertainment Center, is this one season fun series. Again, Steven has regular goals including work, home and relationships and again, his goals are impeded by his own penchant for distraction. Steven is as talented as ever, but with this series he is joined by Teresa Parente and Michael Kostroff, both of which play multiple characters with amazing dexterity and skill. In the end, the show is a fun excuse to work together Steven's imitations and songs, of which he has even crafted an album! Banks! Banks! Banks!
Steven is invited to appear on a chat show for saving a little girl named Chelsea Clinton. Also on the show are Penn and Teller, who perform a bloody trick involving beans. The guests each receive a tote bag from the show. When Steven gets home he finds that he accidentally has Penn's cell phone. He sets out to return it, but Pepper comes across it and turns down an offer from Aaron Spelling in Penn's voice. He then informs Steven of his new psychic girlfriend, who supposedly can contact dead rock stars. This inspires Steven to put on a robe a la the Grim Reaper and perform ""Rock and Roll RIP."" When Penn and Teller arrive, the seance begins. The psychic demands a valuable object--one of Steven's rare 45 LPs--and pulls out a record from ""Buddy Holly"" to which Steven Plays along. But Penn proves her a fake, returns Steven's record, and to celebrate, Steven and Penn perform ""Clothes of the Dead.""
Steven Banks
Steven
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